| Wednesday, May 04, 2005 |
| The Benefits of Being Pope |
When Napster came out, and then again when the iPod came out, everybody became a DJ. Now that the new Pope came out, I'm thinking everyone's gunna want to be a Pope.
"Why would someone want to be a Pope," you ask?
Let's take a look at a few of the many benefits to the papacy. First, you get to wear heavy, flowing robes and big, fat rings on lots of your fingers. Second, you pretty much own all of the Catholics. And that's a lot of people. Did you see CNN during the whole "finding a new pope dilemma?" The reporters finally admitted they were Catholics, some of the cameramen seemed (by the way they vigilantly held their cameras) catholic, and even the Italians admitted they were, in fact, Catholic.
But the greatest benefit of being Pope is that you get to choose a new name. Name something more punk rock than changing your name. I'm not saying I don't like my name, but think of the posibilities... You could be whoever you want to be.
Now, no disrespect to the new Pope, but did you see what he chose as his name? Pope Benedict with some roman numerals, I can't remember which ones. XVI I think. But where's the creativity? I mean, there's already been a Pope Benedict [insert creative roman numeral here]. If you want respect, you've got to come up with some ideas of your own, and I guess the XVI counts for that, but if I were Pope, I'm thinking something like Pope Diddy or Pope With a P-H. Phope. Or maybe even just The XVI, if you want to keep the roman numerals.
In any case, I think it's time to demand more of our Popes. You get to wear the robes, control a good deal of the Christian world, and change your name-- can't we at least put some thought into that new name? And how about we choose to have lent on Ash Wednesday or Good Friday instead of both? |
posted by Brett Crockett @ 10:54 AM   |
|
|
|
